I'm your typical American teenage boy. I love girls and hanging out with my friends. I love life to the fullest usually. It's been hard though since the accident. I'm loyal and trustworthy. Sure I may tell a little white lie now and then, but I don't lie outright. Mom was about to tell if I tried to in the first place so I never did. I love sports and play all of them that I can, but hockey is my favorite closely followed by football. I play my best for all of them though, and don't give up!

I usually shine out there on the field or rink, but I don't do it for the glory that I usually get. It's all for the love of the game by me. Sure I feel great when we win, but it's a team effort. I'm definitely a team player. I feel lousy when we lose, but it's all part of life. Life which I've learned is short and not to be taken for granted. You never know when something is going to happen like it did to my family causing us our heartbreak. I'm still going through the stages of grief, but keep going back to denial.

I was born in Olympia Washington to an outlaw biker, and a stay at home mother who loved her kids with everything she had. Not to say that dad didn't of course he loved us, and both of them are always there for us. Good or bad. I wouldn't trade them for anything! Dad grew up in Brooklyn New York with guys that he talks about all the time. Telling us stories of them getting into trouble and other things. The Moretti brothers, Woody and Python, and Thorn Thomas he grew up with going through grade school, junior high and high school with them. Then there was Grady and Viper who joined them around high school. All of them prospecting to the Sons of Anarchy Charter in Brooklyn, New York.

Mom was born into money. She was born an Astor. Had anything and everything she wanted or needed growing up. They met through Thorn Thomas whose Mother was an Astor. My grandfather and Thorn's mother are first cousins. They say it was love at first sight, and that the sparks were sparking off of them. Their first date was their freshman year of high school. Since Thorn's Mother had been disinherited, and wasn't really a part of the Astor family, Mom was secretly meeting up with the guys. She and Thorn had been friends when their mothers had gotten them together when they'd been in preschoMy grandmother ignored what the Astor family said as she and Thorn's mother Betsey had been friends growing up.
As for Thorn he's been here off and on over the years to visit mom and see how she's doing. She always cried when he showed up, and when he left. I never understood that. His history was definitely sad losing his baby sister like he had along with his parents. Which was why he left New York. Thorn is pretty cool, and I enjoy his visits getting to know him. It's been awhile since he's been here, and word is that he's joined a New Charter giving up his Nomad ways. Started by their old friends from back in New York that they started with so it's got dad thinking.

I'm getting way ahead of myself here though. When mom was disinherited by her father my grandmother threw her wedding ring at him and divorced him. Sure she says she had loved him, but when his true side had come out she hated him after a while. He had at least given her my mother, and that was more than enough for her. She was always there for mom after that, and we grew up knowing her, but not our grandfather. She had come from old money herself so she definitely wasn't hurting for money. Unfortunately Grams died a couple of years ago when she got hit by a car while walking to her car after grocery shopping. She'd moved here and lived with us helping mom out with us kids. She and dad got along great. There was a piece of us missing after she died.

As for me I had a normal childhood. Well as normal as it can get for a son of an Outlaw biker. I had a mini-bike by the time I was four and tearing up the yards in the neighborhood which pissed a few of the older people off, and they'd come over bitching. Grams would have them having a civil conversation over tea in no time making fast friends with them. Somehow she had a knack for that. I'd have to go and help in the yards though fixing them back up, but it ended up pretty cool getting to know them, and their stories. By the time I was eight I knew everyone for two blocks and they knew me. I learned to respect others' property, and the neighbors helped build us a track on the vacant lot across the street. So it turned into a neighborhood project with other kids getting their own mini bikes and later on dirt bikes having fun with the neighbors congregating to watch most evenings.

I played kids sports growing up too along with Motocross when I was able to start riding in that. When I got to junior high I tried all of the sports. In the end my favorites were Hockey, Football, and Basketball in that order. Wrestling wasn't really my cup of tea, and just running was boring to me. I liked having something in my hands while playing and being a team player. Running is sorta a team sport, but not contact like the sports I was in. My favorites were also more aggressive.

So that made it even more fun! Mom and Grams were there for all of my games and dad when he could make it. My sisters were all pretty much cheerleaders too, so with Rebekah. my 7th grade year they got to watch then, and Blakely when I was in 8th. Freshman year it was Lyra, Serina and Rebekah. I remember going to watch my older brothers play when they were in junior high and high school when I was younger.

Well I just finished up my sophomore year. Was looking forward to a great summer playing Baseball, and riding my dirt bike in Motocross. Also spending time with my family. As with all of us in different activities through the school year and other things it had been hard to do just family stuff. So every Saturday we'd go riding. Never in the same direction. We'd ride a couple of hours away, and then head back after eating somewhere. Things were going great till a month into the summer. We were heading South, and I was in the back riding by mom and Rebecka. Mom had fallen back some as we were coming up on a bridge.

I never knew what hit me. All I remember is the sound of a collision, and then something hitting my bike making it spin out of control. Going over I slid across the pavement, feeling the little rocks dig in hard piercing my skin. I don't know how far. Luckily my bike went one way and me another, but I still hit the cement area of the bridge busting my arm in a couple of places. I had road rash and I was hurt everywhere. I could hear screams, and realized one was me with as much pain as I was in. Someone dropped down beside me, and they were all blurry so I must have had a concussion too. Everything was a bit muffled too so I had no idea what they were saying. Blackness took over thankfully.

I woke up hours later and found myself at some hospital. There were people working on me still, and I tried to fight them just wanting my parents. I was restrained though, and given something. As I was fading out I saw Rebekah in another bed, and she didn't look good at all. That's the last I remember till the next day though I was told I had been in and out all night long. Rebekah and I had been put in the same room, and our other sisters were sitting there too. You could tell that they had been crying. Primrose my oldest sister had gotten up from her chair as well as my other sisters seeing I was awake, and reassured me that I would be alright.

Prim was pushing my hair that was starting to get long out of my face as if trying to comfort me. Rebekah was asleep in the other bed. I wondered where my dad and brothers were as well as mom who would always be there if something happened, but I dozed off again as I was trying to ask. Later in the day when I woke up is when I was told what happened. I broke down sobbing like a baby not caring who saw. Prim held me crying herself as I sobbed into her. I couldn't believe that mom was gone. I wasn't really in any real pain. Just mental pain with how they had me doped up.

When I was finally released from the hospital a week later I joined in helping search for mom. Even though I was told to rest. All of us were helping just wanting to know what had happened to mom! Wanting her back! Life as we knew it was all wrong now with her gone, and I spent a lot of nights crying myself to sleep. I'm sure I wasn't the only one. We all shared tears of pain and frustration as well as grief during the days ahead. Needless to say I didn't get to play baseball that summer nor ride in Motocross. I did ride a Harley that someone had lent me to ride till I was able to get me a new one.

Both Rebekah's and my bikes had been beyond saving. Nothing even really to salvage off of them. It never did feel right riding it. It wasn't mine. The one mom and dad had taken me to get when I turned sixteen. My siblings all going with us, making it a family deal as with all before me. I hadn't asked dad about getting a new one knowing he was having a hard time with all of this. We all were, but she'd been the love of his life. Getting me a new bike was really low on the list right now with everything going on!

It's been two months now, and life feels like it has lost meaning for me with the way things have gone. This isn't home for me anymore. The warmth and joy had been sucked out of this place with mom being taken away from us. It was getting harder and harder to drag myself out of bed in the mornings, and most of the time it was well into the afternoon when I would get up. Then I'd join my friends for a night of drinking around a bonfire down at the beach, and drink the pain away. All of us were spiraling out of control, unable to cope with the loss of mom. None of us really noticed how the others were spiraling either.

My cast was off now, and I could care less. I was starting to welcome the nights when I'd drink the pain away. I was only sixteen though, and I didn't know how much more of this I could take. The reality of nothing was going to be the same again was still trying to sink in. Something’s gotta give before I do.