Even at my old age I still have a sharp mind. I can be quite sarcastic and I hae a smart mouth that has gotten me into trouble quite a few times over the years. I have a way of charming myself out of things though so that's useful. There's not much I'm afraid of. When Rosanna had unwanted visitors in the middle of the night I grabbed my shotgun and put some buckshot into a few of them. Smirking as I heard their cries of pain. I love to banter back and forth with the new hottie MC boys that moved into town. I just can't help flirting with them. It's all in fun though, and I' pretty sure that they know that. I'm known to give advice to people whether they like it or not. I'm usually right as well. I've lived on this earth long enough to know right from wrong and lived through quite a lot.

The year was 1930 with cozy fall weather having set in. Leaves falling from the trees after changing to the beautiful shades of yellow, orange, red, purple, and brown. Most families were probably out enjoying the weather, before the weather changed to the frigid cold temperatures of the North. My parents probably didn’t even think of all the beautiful things about fall. Mom was heavily pregnant with me, her second child with an active two year old daughter running around. Though she had the nannies they hired 24/7 to take care of her. With a penthouse apartment they wouldn’t see the leaves changing colors and falling to the ground. Not to mention Central Park was a few blocks away so they wouldn’t be able to look down at it. No, their penthouse was on Madison Avenue with the other elite Manhattan aristocrats.

Both of my parents came from old money, but mom was a Livingston, part of a banking empire that dated back to the gilded age of New York. Her grandparents were part of the Gilded 400 and were on the list. She was still on the list along with the Astors and various other elite New York Society. Dad was a banker himself, but his family didn’t date as far back in New York Society as my mother. Still though his money spoke for him she always said. Mom was friends with the Astor women of aristocracy. One would think they only cared about money, and most of the time they did. Having children was just expected of them to carry on their families. I was the second of these children, and I was born on November 11th, 1930. It was another five years before they had another one. Finally they had their son and heir. The one they doted on and seemed to love spoiling him rotten. My sister Mehitable and I just got pushed to the backburner most of the time.

My sister was called Hettie most of the time instead of the old family name. At least she had a cool name where I was just plain old Doris. I loved my nickname Dorie much more than my loathing and plain name. She and I grew close and were the best of friends. It was just us two usually with our brother Malcolm getting all the attention from the parents as well as our nannies. It was something we grew used to over time. We had the best tutors possible growing up, and attended the most elite schools in Manhattan. I didn’t know what the word love meant until I was in my teenage years and saw how some of my friends' parents acted towards one another. They looked so happy and not putting on a front for others. It was something I was learning to yearn for.

Growing up our nannies loved talking about the Rockettes. My sister and I had no clue what they were talking about till we grew older. When I was around seven the nannies somehow got tickets to go see the Rockettes. With my parents abroad at the time in England or France, not sure which they had no choice but to take us kids with them. We had really good seats, and I was mesmerized by the dances. I knew without a doubt I wanted to be a Rockette when I grew up. That wasn’t the only time we got to go see the Rockettes. Without our parents' knowledge we went to dozens of shows over the years. I had mesmerized all of their dances that I saw, and would dance at home. I begged to be put in dancing lessons, and my parents finally agreed. Not that they came to my recitals. Only ones who did were the nannies, my sister, and brother who was dragged along.

After I graduated from high school, and I was eighteen I auditioned for the Rockettes. My dream of becoming a Rockette became real when I made the cut. I was more than excited to make it into the Rockettes! My sister shared my enthusiasm. She had no desire to dance as a Rockette, but she was happy for my dreams to come true. As for her, she was dating her high school Sweetheart, Callum McCallister. Callum came from old money too which made my parents happy, but this was a true love relationship. One I longed for one day still, but I loved seeing my sister happy. They were engaged to be married.

For five years I kept it a secret from my parents that I was a Rockette. Something that they thought was beneath them. Not that they cared what I was doing. When I joined them for family dinners it was, have you found a man yet to settle down with? Or your father’s friend has a son we can set you up with. No, how have you been doing or are you doing alright? They thought I was happily going to college there in New York, which I did take a class here and there since they were paying for it. I just fit it in during my slower times of the year dancing. The night they found out I was a Rockette there were definitely fireworks between us.

Friends of my parents had gotten tickets for a special showing for something. They weren’t too keen on seeing the Rockettes for part of whatever was going on. So I’m sure you can imagine the horror on their faces when they recognized me dancing front and center on the stage happily. They weren’t ones to make a scene in public. I was summoned to the penthouse that very night after the show. I had no idea that they had been in the audience. So I was definitely unprepared when they both started in on me. My dad bellowed, but at least my mother was keeping a civil voice. They had been humiliated when one of their friends with them had asked isn’t that one of your daughters up there? The woman had raised her nose up in the air showing that it was distasteful.

I couldn’t even get a word in edgewise for what felt like hours. I just sat there acting like I was listening, but I really wasn’t. My head was filled with the dances and the warm feelings yet from the night. When they had exhausted themselves I calmly looked at them. “One. You don’t care what I want or need. About my well being. All you care about is your reputation which you seem to want to uphold more than showing any kind of love for me. So therefore I disown you as my parents. You can lie to your friends for all I care about telling them that I’m not your daughter. Because it sure doesn’t feel like I am. Two I am a Rockette and damn proud of it. You have no say in what I do or don’t do any longer. Three I will marry when I damn well please! Four I was a spare as a child to you so don’t think you have any say in my life! I’m no longer part of yours!” As they sputtered I got up and walked out of there with them both yelling at me not to step outside that apartment. It felt like a weight had lifted as those elevator doors closed blocking out their yelling. I felt liberated and planned to make something of my life!

As a Rockette I was part of the USO and got to tour dancing for the men overseas as well as in the States. It was during one of these tours that I met the love of my life. His name was Dane Lee Morgan. Oh he was definitely a hottie making me swoon. Something I had never done in my life. He was from a little town in California called Washington, and the way he talked about Washington just made you fall in love with it. I knew one day I had to go there, and see it for myself. Dane was a charmer for sure, and I fell deeply and madly in love with him. He was on my mind when I danced, slept and ate. I had never been a daydreamer before, but he was turning me into one. I shared my first kiss with him, and it was magical. I was twenty-five and had never been kissed before. It wasn’t that boys didn’t like me. Especially with me being a Rockette. It was more that I didn't have time for any of that.

Over the years my siblings had married and started families of their own. My baby brother Malcolm is being groomed to take over the family business one day. Only he got drafted into the Vietnam War at the age of twenty-one. It was something that he took seriously, and when he got hurt and sent home to recover my parents expected him to get discharged and come to work in the family business. Only to their dismay he joined back up the second that he could, and went right back into the war wanting no part of the banking business. He felt pride doing something for his country. A country he believed in.

In 1957 when I was twenty-seven the Rockettes performed for the first time on television on the Wide, Wide World. Making history that day was more than exhilarating. On thanksgiving day of that year was the first time the Roxettes performed in the Macy’s Thanksgiving day parade. Dancing down that parade route to all the cheers was more than I had anticipated. It was even better than being on TV for the first time! I loved the whole experience, and couldn’t wait till the next year to dance in the parade again. For three years I got to anticipate the experience and love every minute of it. That was my last year as Dane proposed to me on Christmas Eve in 1960. I finished out that year and hung up my dancing shoes. For as much as I loved it I loved Dane more. So at thirty one years of age I married the love of my life. With just my brother and sister there with their loved ones. I hadn’t seen or heard from my parents since that night I told them I disowned them. My brother had given me away, and Dane’s brother showed up last minute barely making it to be his best man. He’d come all the way from Washington, California where he was the sheriff there.

Since Dane was still in the military and him getting shipped off I stayed in New York living in an apartment there. When I got pregnant two years later we were elated, and couldn’t wait. Unfortunately I miscarried devastating both of us when I found out my brother had been killed in Vietnam leaving behind his wife, son, and daughter that were toddlers. It was another two years before I was able to get pregnant again. I miscarried again, and found there were other problems causing me to have to get a total hysterectomy. I felt like a failure at being a wife losing the ability to even have children. Though I wouldn’t have been able to carry any full term. Dane hugged me telling me he loved me no matter what. If I wanted we could adopt. Well we tried, but it never worked out for us.

The day I was coming home from the hospital after my hysterectomy my sister Hettie and I argued over something. I was hurt by her harsh words, and didn’t speak to her after that. In fact when Dane got discharged a couple of months later I left New York with him without even telling her. I did see in the papers that her son and his wife had perished in a hotel fire leaving behind three daughters. My heart went out to her, but I still hadn’t forgiven her so I only sent flowers from Dane and I without an address where to find us. Just wanted her to know that I was at least thinking of her at her time.

I also read in the papers when my parents died. I felt no loss at this as I had already been through that the day I disowned them when I was twenty-three years old. When Dane and I moved to his hometown I immediately loved the little town of Washington, California. I became part of the family there. He joined the sheriff’s department with his father, and older brother Jacob, and I became close with my sister in law, Clara. They had three little boys who I absolutely adored. I never really worried about Dane in the line of duty as a police officer thinking it was nowhere near like him being in the war and on the front lines. Not till the day his father was killed in a shootout. I hadn’t realized how big of a family the Morgans were till they showed up for the funeral of his father overwhelming the little town of Washington. After that I worried when I knew he’d get called out on jobs.

Jacob’s eldest son Hank joined them in the sheriff’s department when he was of age. His younger brothers though went off to college, and never looked back as they loved the city life. Starting families of their own there. Only seeing them on special holidays after that. Hank married a beautiful woman called Sarah who was a High Mountain Ranger. She gave him two wonderful children. I’m godmother to both of them. We were all devastated when Sarah died in an accident on a routine rescue up in the mountains. I helped Hank out after that as much as I could as his mother had passed on by now.

Four years later my heart was shattered when Hank came to tell me that there had been a hit and run accident. A car going through Washington at high speeds had hit Dane who was crossing the street unaware. People had witnessed it, but the driver of the car had hightailed it out of there and disappeared. Who it was has never been found out, and Hank and his father did try and find out. My life as I knew it was over, but I kept going. Sawyer and Jake were a big part of that knowing and feeling like I was needed somewhere. I stayed on the farm that Dane had gotten us when we married for years, but it was so lonely out there that I ended up getting a trailer in town moving into it. Hank had a fit when I did, and wanted me to come live with them. I refused though not wanting to intrude.

In town I was able to walk where I needed to go or I rode in the mule that I got to just run around town. Lots of days I spent down at the hotel either in the cafe or bar area. Often playing cards with other older ladies or just shooting the breeze. We lost Jacob one day when he had a heart attack and that was heartbreaking too. I think he and Dane had a party up there being reunited and he was at peace being with his wife again. The years have gone by fast with Hank's kids growing up becoming adults before I knew it. Both of them joined their father in the Sheriff’s department following in their ancestors' shoes. There had been a Morgan as Sheriff since the beginnings of Washington, California.

About a year ago a blond haired girl who wore skimpy clothing moved in next door to me in a trailer. She had three boys who looked a little worse for wear. Thinking she was some kind of harlot I turned it into Social Services when I saw bruises on the eldest boy. Something I felt bad about when I did get to know the woman. A fierce woman who loved her sons more than anything. She was starving herself just to make sure they had food to eat. Often going without. So I started buying a few groceries here and there for them, having it delivered and left on their porch. Her name was Rosanna, and I came quite fond of her and her boys.

In May of this year the hotel was shut down when it was bought by a Motorcycle club of all things. Some fancy lawyer came in buying up the hotel and grocery story, and the big house across the road from the hotel. My nephew Hank was having a fit. I had a front row seat from my front porch when I heard the rumbling thunder of the Motorcycle club coming into town for the first time. I sat there drinking a Screwdriver and enjoying the show. There were definitely a bunch of hotties in this club. A club called the Sons of Anarchy. If only I had been younger I thought, but then Dane had been the love of my life, and the only one that ever would be.

Still though when the cafe opened back up, and I started to frequent it I had a lot of fun flirting with those boys. I didn’t care if they were outlaw bikers or not. They were human beings, and they opened their hearts to others. Rosanna ended up falling for one of them, and they had welcomed Rosanna and her boys right in. Her boys I heard had showed up there right away getting fed, and she’d been mortified when she figured this out. That was before the cafe ever opened. The sons had barely been in town a day when the boys found their way into the fold.

One night when I was up late watching old tv shows and movies like I usually did there was a disturbance outside. Some other bikers were there shooting up Rosanna’s place and trying to get to her to get to the sons. I grabbed my shotgun, and started putting buckshot into their britches making them grab their asses and hightail it out of there. By the time the sons had shown up I had things pretty much in hand. Cause who in their right mind wants to go up against a ninety year old woman with a shotgun? Nobody I reckon. I had fun flirting with that young Rocko when he walked up checking on me. In nothing but his boxers and boots now that was quite a view for me. I had a few screwdrivers after they left, and was settling back in for the night.

The summer is about over, and those Astors that came with the club and joined it, bought up the old school land, and built up a brand new high school for the Washington kids that seemed to keep multiplying with more and more sons joining the new charter. After talking to my great niece Sawyer who was hooking up with Rock’s hottie of a father I found out the Astors were from the New York Astors. Their grandmother had been friends with my mother. One day as I was at the cafe more sons were joining the sons here. Ones from Kansas. Along with them my three great nieces that I had only read about in the papers I received about from New York or word from old friends back in New York. My sister Mehitable’s granddaughters that she had raised after their parents perished in the fire. My nieces somehow recognized me more than shocked, shocking even more. Hank was there too, and I’m sure there was confusion on all of them calling me aunt Doris. When something else caught their attention I hightailed it out of there. Really hoping that their grandmother didn’t show up here in Washington too.

I’ve avoided the girls since they had come to town thankfully. One day I decided to go out to Dane’s and my farm, and check on things. Like I usually did once a month. Getting my car out of the garage where it's at most of the time. It was a little too far to take my mule. The day was going well with having good memories when I had been out there. When I was leaving though I checked both ways more than once knowing that the biker boys lived out here on these roads. I was more than shocked when one came out of nowhere it seemed after I had just checked. I hit the breaks but the poor boy still ran into the bumper of my car. He went flying through the air. I had gotten out of the car and hurried over to him after moving it and putting the flashers on in case of anyone else coming down the dirt road. What in the world was he doing out here all by himself I wondered.

I stayed with him after calling Hank for help. Sawyer was at a party the sons were having, and so was Jake along with a girl that was related to the Astors he had fallen for. I ended up going on the helicopter with the boy more than upset about what had transpired. I was so worked up I had a mild heart attack soon after arriving at the hospital. Thankfully there was no damage, but I spent quite a bit of time in the hospital. Hank told me I was going to their place when I got out. He wasn’t taking no for an answer. Word must have gotten out about the accident. My great nieces came to visit me. Even though I was leery seeing the three sisters walk in it ended up being a good visit. Finding out I had a lot more great great nieces and nephews who I would have to meet. They did warn me that my sister and her husband would be moving there. That they’d gone on a cruise this summer and would be in Washington in a few weeks. They'd already told her that they had found me here in Washington when she’d called to check on them one day.

I did keep updated on the poor boy Rayne. I was still a bit worked up about that and praying for him. Hank had assured me that he was going to be fine though. So did Sawyer when she would come to visit. After two weeks in the hospital I was more than ready to go home, but they said they wanted to keep me a while longer because of my blood pressure going up and down when I would worry about things. Hopefully they got it under control soon or else I was going to blow this joint myself.